When Your Gone
by xkittycatgirlx
Summary: What would you do when you notice you had feelings for you best friend, but it was to late to tell them? What if you had to lose the one person you opened up to and let in the door you've kepted close?
1. Chapter 1

Dear Spell book,

I've never had anyone close to me in my life. My mother wasn't that close to me. My father just wanted to use me. I didn't have a home, 'til my friends took me in. That's when I started to feel love and fall in love.

**_- Raven_**

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"Raven you up yet?" called Starfire from outside of Raven's door.

"Yeah hold on!" Raven answered from the other side of the door.

I got out of bed and got dressed into my black leotard with my blue rope. Looking around my dark room I thought of how not many of been in it. For now only Starfire had been in her room longer than a few minutes. Opening the door to my bed room I walked out into the hallway.

Starfire smiled and asked, "Do you remember what you promised we would do on this day?"

I nodded well I shut my door and said, "Yeah, I said we would go to the mall."

I had almost forgotten about that promised. I was meditating then I fell asleep. I walked down the hall with Star behind me. The doors opened themselves and we walked into the living room for the Teen Titans. Starfire went for the sofa to watch TV with the guys well I went to the kitchen to get something to drink.

Looking around I spotted my tea pot in the cupboard. I grabbed the pot then I turned on the water with my magic and filled the pot up. I turned off the water then placed the old brown pot on the stove and clicked on the stove. *Click* *Click* *Click* then the flame started and I put it on high.

Walking into the living I saw BeastBoy put in a movie. _Grate another comedy._ I thought to myself. Walked over to the side of the sofa and sat down next to Cyborg. BeastBoy hit play and we started to watch the movie. It was alright from what I watched. I noted it had moneys in suits and the town was burning to the ground the rest I didn't bother to watch. I heard my tea pot going off telling me it was with its high squeak. I got up and went to the kitchen. I looked around for my bamboo tea cut and I found it in by the coffee cups. I grabbed it, grabbed a packet of tea, placed it in the bottom of my tea cup then I felt someone reach over me. I turned around to see Starfire's stomach.

Felling blush run across my face I managed to asked, "What are you looking for Star?"

Starfire looked down at me with a bag of popcorn in her hand and she smiled. Star went to her feet and said, "I was grabbing the pop corn. Did I make you fell not well?"

I asked, "Why would ask that?"

Starfire said in a worried voice, "Your face is flushed. Maybe you have a fever?"

Star tried to place her hand to my forehead, but I said before she could, "I'm fine Star. I'm like this in the morning."

Starfire lifted an eyebrow and asked, "You are sure then?"

I nodded my head and went back to my tea. Pouring my boiling water slowly into my cup I listened to Starfire place her popcorn in the popcorn maker than Cyborg designed. She pushed the button and I heard a *Beep*. Feeling something warm I looked down at my hands to see I spilt some of my water on my hand. I quickly turned off the stove and placed my tea pot on the front right burn closets to me. I grabbed a towel and whipped off the counter and my hand that got wet. When they both we're dry I put the towel in the garbage. When Star's pop corn was done I walked into the living room with her to find that the movie was over.

Starfire looked at me and asked, "So you and I go to the mall?"

I nodded my head and drank my tea slowly just thinking.

*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*

Robin said, "Shopping trip is off. Trouble."

I ran out with Cyborg and BeastBoy, well Starfire and Robin stayed. We went to the bridge to see Overload eating the power lines. I trapped him well BeastBoy turned into a elephant and sucked up water from the river. Cyborg helped me hold Overload then BeastBoy squirted water on the bad guy. Overload went back into his card form and we handed him over to the cops for the last time we hoped.

On our way to the tower we noticed it was smocking. We all started run. It was hard to control my feelings, but I knew something bad was going on.

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Sara: Ok I know its short, but its only chapter one. I hope you liked it and I'll try and get Chapter two up soon.


	2. Chapter 2

I pulled my T phone and tried to call Robin and Starfire. No one answered and that made me worry more. We made it to the tower and I heard the distance scream of Starfire haunt my ears. We all ran to the cliff to see Starfire holding onto her left arm and breathing hard with Robin on the ground not moving. I was in shock with everyone else.

It wasn't just that our friend we're hurt it was who did it to them. Slade stood in front of Starfire with a blade in hand that had blood on it that I guessed that it was from Star herself. Slade went attacked Starfire and she didn't have time to flinch. He placed the blade between her 4th and 5th rib. He grabbed her by the shirt. The rest was slowdowned like a slide show. The first slide was of Starfire's tear stained face, then it was of Slade, then Slade dragging Starfire to the cliff, Starfire taking her last breath, then Slade dropping her off the side of the cliff.

I didn't think I just ran to my friend and grabbed her hand has she was falling. I had a bad grip on her and she started to slip from my fingers.

I said only for her to hear if she was still alive, "No. no no no no no. Starfire you have to fight this! Come on you can do it. Live if only for me. Please Starry I need you."

I was shocked by my last words and I couldn't believe that I had said that. I meant it all too. I saw her jaw move a little as if to say something, but I didn't hear it and she died in my fingers. My hands got sweaty and she slipped out of my fingers. I screamed, "No!" has I watched her fall into the ocean below. BeastBoy went after her, but I went after Slade.

"Why! Why Starfire!" I lashed out at him with my fists and got him in the jaw.

Slade fell back and I kept going at him. Every punch I threw at him was filled with anger and I knew I would start crying. I had to control myself or I would hurt more than Slade and Starfire today. I felt my magic heat up in my body and I started to get dizzy. I threw all my magic at him and the next thing I know is I blacked out.

In my mind I couldn't see anything. I could only hear people around me. I also heard Starfire's voice that's when I knew I wasn't listening to the now. I was listening to my memories. It was very odd, but when I thought I could see my memories.

My first memory was when we first meet Terra. I could hear and see everything and I saw Starfire being normal Star.

"Where are you from? How did you get here? What's your favorite color? Would you like to be my friend?" Starfire asked the blonde.

I remembered how I got so mad when Terra almost killed Starfire. I would of killed her on the spot if I'd know before she got rid of me.

My next memory was of the time when Blackfire had come to visit Starfire and tried fame her. When I was at open microphone night with Blackfire I was watching over Starfire then. I knew Blackfire had something bad in her past and knew that from my past she I knew she did or was doing something to Starfire.

The Last memory to pass through my head was of the time when BeastBoy, Robin, and Cyborg had been put into little body puppets. That was first time I had ever told anyone everything about myself. The way she kept clam when I told her about my father and how he was evil, It surprised me that she actted so calm.

I heard a distant voice that sounded like Robin, "Raven. Raven wake up!"

I sat up slowly and I saw a blinding white light and I mumbled, "Bright …"

I heard Cyborg move across the room then turn off the light. I didn't open my eyes for a little 'til I heard BeastBoy say, "It's alright Raven."

I said, "Not really BeastBoy." I knew what he meant, but without Starfire It would never be alright.

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Sara: Here's chapter 2! Get ready for chapter 3!


	3. Chapter 3

**2 years later**

I logged onto the chat room to talk with the others.

**Lonely-without-my-fire HAS LOGGED ON**

**Finding-her ::** Hey Raven. How have you been?

**Lonely-without-my-fire ::** I'm alright what about you Robin?

**Finding-her ::** I'm alright.

**Wild_thing HAS LOGGED ON**

**Wild_thing ::** How are you Raven, Robin?

**Finding-her ::** fine.

**Lonely-without-my-fire ::** peachy BeastBoy.

**Wild_thing ::** that's good …

**Videogames4405 HAS LOGGED ON**

**Wild_thing ::** long time no chat Cyborg!

**Videogames4405 ::** I know … you want to come over later BB?

**Wild_thing ::** sure has long has Raven stays away.

**Finding-her ::** BeastBoy you don't have to be like that, Raven couldn't help it.

**Lonely-without-my-fire ::** Its fine Robin. You don't have to defend me. I'll be going now.

**Lonely-without-my-fire HAS LOGGED OFF**

The Teen Titans spilt up after the death of Starfire. Everyone blamed me at first for the death of Starfire. How I should of held onto her better and not let her slip. I couldn't look at any of them for a week after I woke up. I was out for a few days remembering everything about Starfire.

I Looked around my one room apartment and looked at my anti Cyborg device. Last year they tracked me down after I left the tower when I couldn't stop thinking about her. Robin went and tried to find anything on Starfire he could. BeastBoy now lives in a little condo outside of town seeing he had a lot of money off of being the mask scout from the city's NFL team. Cyborg lives in the Teen Titan tower working for NASA.

When Starfire died I realized that I loved her. I loved her more than a friend should. I knew now why I said my last words for Starfire. I miss her all the time, for her I'm still fighting crime. I just wish That I will be able to get myself some closer.

I lifted my hand to touch the little chain of bells around my neck and I felt a tear fall down my cheek. My magic went off and I blew out the light bulb.

I whipped the tear away then looked around for a light bulb to see if I could find one in this mess.

**7 hours later**

**Lonely-without-my-fire ::** -sigh- I'm so lonely.

**Time-for-sorrow ::** what you up to?

**Lonely-without-my-fire ::** no a lot. …. Who are you?

**Time-for-sorrow HAS LOGGED OFF**

I looked at the screen and thought, _Who was that?_

*Somewhere in Canada*

_**A voice said, "How many times have I told you not to go into anything that can be tracked!"**_

Another voice said, "I didn't think anyone would be on!"

_**The other voice said, "Stop it! Once a liar always a liar."**_

The 2st voice said in a muffled tone, "It was the only way."

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Sara: -.- my chapters are so short! Sorry people I know they are.


	4. Chapter 4

I wanted to know who it was on the other line. I searched and searched for anything that would tell me who it was. I couldn't find anything. Sighing I went to my bed turning off the light and laptop. Lying in bed I started to think of all the good times I had with the gang. It felt like forever. If she hadn't been blamed for the death of Starfire she would of went to Cyborg for help to track the person.

I got up from my bed and looked at the clock. It was 3am. Just the right time to go and get what I need from TT tower. I got up out of bed and walked to the door. I flew to TT tower then I went around to the back ready to get pass all the training tools Cyborg had setup. First up we're things threw at me that ticked then blew up. I moved the bombs away and passed through the rest of the field. I managed to get to the control room before the system got a hold of me. I typed in Time-of-sorrow in the find box and computer quickly ran it threw looking for a place.

Cyborg I knew by now was running into the Teen Titan's living room looking for what was in. I could already hear his metal feet running down the steps to the control room. I knew by the look of the search that it was going to take longer than I thought.

Cyborg opened the door and I could move an inch. Cyborg said, "Raven?" he had to guest seeing he could only have to see my back.

I slowly turned around and said, "Hey Cyborg."

He was a little shocked then he asked, "What are you doing here?"

I answered, "I needed to look up something. My laptop wouldn't do for it."

Cyborg was speechless and the computer beeped. I loved to see the screen name Time-for-sorrow was found to be from Canada. I looked at the longitude and latitude and knew where to go. I looked at Cyborg and couldn't help, but feel bad for him.

I said, "That's all I need Cyborg." Then I disappeared in my magic that ported me to Canada.

The first thing I saw was an old factory that looked like no one had been in there for some time. I walked into the building looking around then I heard someone crying. I couldn't tell if it was male or female, but I walked into the next room to find someone sitting in a chair.

I walked forward listening to my own shoes it the concrete floor. I wanted to know who was in the chair, but something in my gut told me that I didn't. I didn't listen to my gut I walked to the chair then the person in the chair turned around.

I was surprised to see Slade sitting in the chair. I couldn't say anything if I wanted to. I felt like my voice box was turned off. He smiled evilly at me then his smile got wider when I hear someone behind me. I was scared to turn around to find out what new bad guy was behind me.

I slow turned around to look not sure if I wanted the shock, but when I was who it was it was a bigger shock than when I found Slade.

I stuttered, "Sttt-ar-ffff-ii-re?"

She flipped her red hair back out of her face and smiled with a, "Hello dear friend."

I blinked. She had on a Black t-shirt that barley covered her stomach, black jeans that widen out when it got to her ankles, and she had on Strappy black stiletto sandals. I couldn't believe that this was my Starfire. She had changed.

Then it hit me then that Starfire and Slade knew very well that each other were in the building.

I asked, "Starfire, don't tell me your working with him."

She smiled the same evil smile that Slade had just give me a minute ago, but her eyes had guilt and sorrow in them. I knew the old Starfire, the Starfire I loved, was still under the new clothing.

Star answered, "Of course. How do you think I pulled off the fake death?"

I shook my head and said, "No way. I don't believe this Star. This isn't you. You're the happy go lucky girl that doesn't care what people think of you and only want your friends be full of joy. That's the real Starfire. That's my Starfire!"

Starfire said, "I was never yours."

Her eyes told me something else. Her eyes told me that she had always wanted to be mine, but she couldn't get the words out. I knew now that was why she got so close to me and why she always was on my side even if I was wrong. She tried so many times to tell me without telling and I didn't get the message.

"Starfire." I said with pain in my voice because I feel bad for my dear friend.

"Raven." She said with love in her voice and a smile in her eyes.

Slade went, "Umm." And we both looked at him.

He smiled and said, "Starfire take care of our little friend here."

I loved back at Starfire to see a green light hit me and I fell back only knowing that Starfire hit me with a starbolt.

* * *

Sara: Ok I know it's short yes. I'm trying to make them longer, but I'm sick so it's not my best work.


	5. Chapter 5

I felt the cold ground and I had to gather my thoughts before I got to my feet. I saw Starfire standing there with tears in her eyes. Something was making her keep going and fighting, but what did he have on her?

Slade said, "Come on Raven I know you can fight better than that."

Starfire came after me with starbolts in her hands and I blocked her. I didn't really fight back I just blocked.

I asked, "Star what is it he has on you? What is it?"

Starfire kept fighting with tears falling down her face and anger in her eyes. Not at me, but it was like she was made a Slade for something.

Starfire stopped going after me and Slade said, "Starfire if you don't fight I'll destroy her myself."

Starfire looked at him then at me then back to him.

Starfire came at me and started explaining herself to me well we battled.

She said, "He was going to make you open the portal again. Your father didn't get what he wanted done the first time so he's trying to comeback through you."

I was shocked and asked, "Why? Why would fake your death?"

Starfire said, "It was the only way to stop Slade from using you for his dark plans."

Again I asked, "Why would you go that far?"

*** Don't read this part if you don't like girl/girl ***

Starfire stopped battling and I stopped a few feet away from her. She smiled then walked to me.

She said in soft voice, "Because I love you idiot."

And before I could answer she leaned in and kissed me. I closed my eyes and took the few seconds that I got from the kissed and remembered them and hoped I would get to do this again. Starfire pulled away then I felt something jab me in the back and I blacked out.

*** Okay clear to read ***

"Raven, Raven, Raven wake up!" Robin said well he shock me.

I opened my eyes and they looked at me wondering what was going on.

"Starfire is alive. I battled her. Slade … and her … are … working together."

BeastBoy said, "No way!"

Cyborg asked, "Did she saw anything else?"

My thoughts went back to the kiss and I blushed a little, but they didn't seem to notic.

I answered, "No nothing at all."

I knew they knew there was more, but I wasn't going to come right out and tell them something about myself and Starfire that they didn't even know that was going on. They helped me up to my feet.

Robin asked, "You want to help us track her down? You're open to say no."

I thought it over then answered, "Sure. Just like old times, if BB is alright with it."

BeastBoy looked up from the floor and said, "I know. Sorry. I just was sad at the time."

I walked over to BeastBoy and hugged him and he hugged back. Everyone thinks that we like each other and I knew I didn't I just didn't know 'til 2 years ago why. I was in love with someone else. When the hug ended we all went to the T-car and went on the hunt for Starfire.

We traveled for hours 'til we all got tired so we went back to the T tower. It had been sometime since I've been able to walk into this house without Starfire and guilt on my mind.

Cyborg smiled and said, "You know Raven, it took some skill to get past my alarms. Why didn't you turn off the last one?"

I looked at him and answered, "I thought your computer was faster than that."

He glared a little and I smiled. Then I noticed BeastBoy looking at me funny.

He said out loud, "Guys I think Starfire has zapped Raven's brain or something. She's smiling!"

I stopped smiling and said, "I just missed everyone that's all."

On the inside I was just glad that Star was still alive and I knew I had the ability to bring her back to the good side.

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Sara: School has me tied up here is the next chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

**Sara::** Hey guys I know it's been sometime, but I computer crash, then when I got a new one .... long story. Anyway here is chapter 6. Note: I'm not the best speller.

* * *

Riding in Cyborg's car I looked at the window and watched has we got closer to the tower. I finally got a good look at it and I noticed that Cyborg must of replaced the windows or something seeing the windows looked different. I thought I heard someone talking to me so I looked around and no had moved so I went back to looking out the window of the T car.

'Save me Raven' I looked around again. I thought I had just heard Starfire's sweet voice say, 'Save me Raven.'

Blinking the T car came to a stop and everyone got out. Openning the door I could tell the boys were happy to be together and at home. They were jumping around, making plans to play video games, and Beast Boy was talking about making us all a special tofu breakfast.

I told Beast Boy, "I haven't changed that much Beast Boy. I still don't like tofu."

He nodded his head and I went into the T tower heading straight to my bed room. The tower was a little more blue than I remembered. I went all the down the hall to a door that had dust on the name plate and I brushed the plate and my name appeared on the door. I turned the handle and walked into the room going to bed to take myself a nice long nap.

*Starfire's view*

Raven fell to the ground and I felt has if my heart was going to shadder into piece. I wanted to bend down and pick Raven and being her to savety. I knew if I did that Slade would kill her there, on the spot.

I looked at him and asked, "What's our plan?"

Slade must of been smiling under his orange and black mask because he said, "We plan to attack T tower."

I knew he was loving this too much. First I had to battle my love now I have to take over my only home on earth. I knew it would come to this when I desided to join him and try to stop him from killing Raven by making her open the portal again.

We both left the building with hast and I knew the others would be right behind us going to help Raven who laid on the cold floor of the Canadain factory. I knew she loved me as well, that was what I've wanted to know since I faked my death and her last words to me.

'No. no no no no no. Starfire you have to fight this! Come on you can do it. Live if only for me. Please Starry I need you.' the very words that rang threw my head for what was it? Two years now? Yeah, two years now.

Slade had flew us to another base and I sat down looking at the window knowing I was in Las Vagas. The flashing lights and all the people made me think of all the people I use to protect. Sighing I sat cross legged. An Idea came to me and I started to put it into action.

Slade didn't know that Raven and I are conceted by our minds. I tried to send the message, 'Save me Raven' I knew she got it because her mind's Beta waves came back to me to tell me that she got it. I smiled a little knowing that it would come to her well she was asleep that we could talk with having to open our mouths or let anyone else know what we're talking about.

*Raven's view*

'Raven, you have to wake up. We need to talk!' I blinked and sat up in my bed. I rubbed my eyes and then it hit me. Starfire was trying to use our minds to talk to me. I closed my eyes and crossed my legs and thought back to her, 'I hear you loud and clear Star.'

I knew Starfire was happy when she said, 'I'm glad to hear that.'

* * *

**Sara::** I hope you like it!


	7. Chapter 7

**_Sara:_** This is a filler chapter. It's part of the story and helps me write chapter 8, but It's not my best writing. Enjoy if you can!

* * *

We planed together how to get her back from Slade and how to kill him. I told her that I didn't want to lose her again and Starfire didn't want to lose me either. I sighed well I sat on the sofa watching the boys playing there racing game.

I never understood boys and why there liked that game seeing it was the same thing over and over again. I walked back to my room to talk to Starfire. Robin stopped me in the hall and he told me, "I know. You don't have to hid it from me. The other two will understand in time."

I stood shocked and he walked pass me. I woundered what secert he knew about. The one that Starfire and I are talking to each other or the one that Starfire and I are in love with each other. He had made it to the living room before I was going to ask him then I shook it off and went into my room.

I sat on my bed and thought to Starfire, 'Robin knows something.' Starfire though, 'I think Slade is getting smarter too.'

I heard her sigh well my dark blue hair fell into my face and I blew it away and thought, 'What's wrong Star?'

She thought back to me,'I want to .... talk to you.'

I smiled and knew she wanted to more than talk to me and I thought to her well I sat down on my bed, 'In time my dear Star. We'll be together soon.'

Starfire thought, 'That's to long! I want to see you now.'

I thought for a minute then thought to her, 'Well go to sleep then.'

She said, 'What?'

I told her, 'Just trust me. Go to bed.'

She said, 'Ok'

I laid down in my bed then closed my eye and I fell asleep. When my dream started I saw Starfire and I knew it had worked.

Starfire asked, "What is going on?"

*Girl/Girl*

I smiled and answered, "Our minds are dreaming together. We are in each other's dream has our selves." Starfire smiled then thought of being her her bed room and we both showed up in it.

I giggled at her and she told me, "I've longed to hear that giggle."

I winked at her and she said, "How about we finish what we started."

I wiggled my eyebrows back and forth and she giggled. We ran to each other and meet right next to her bed and kissed. She turned me around and tackled me onto the bed. I smiled and moved up the bed 'til my head was on the pillow. She got back on top of me and kissed me with her hands a little low than my waist and I locked my hands behind her head trying to get closer. Our bodies fit well together, but we didn't notice that fact 'til later.

*Ok can read*

I woke up a little sad. I was having run and I wanted more, but I knew that I could only have so much at a time. I heard Star sigh too and I knew she didn't want to stop when we did. I told her, 'When you get back we wont have to stop so early.'

She giggled a little and said, 'I can't wait.'

I told her, 'You know what?'

'What?' she asked.

'I can't wait either.' I answered.

I heard smirk and say, 'Well then you better get the others ready, because were comeing soon.' I nodded and touched my cold red lips thinking mostly about Star. How I wish I could really fell her lips again. Only if I had told her before that fateful night. Sighing I went back to bed this time by myself.


End file.
